To the polling station.. (again)

I hope everyone used their chance to vote. Today's was a tricky one for me. I realised how vulnerable I feel. 

I rely on the NHS and I rely on it being free. I receive ESA currently whilst I'm not allowed to work. I rely on student loans to fund me studying for when I am allowed back to work. My children are both in the education system. Yup I am a giant drain on the system (not intentionally I promise)

The thought of having to pay for my medical treatment, whilst I see why that might be seen as a good solution to some of the countries problems, leaves my blood run cold. It doesn't take a genius to figure out I'm not exactly rolling in it right now. Will it be that I genuinely might not be able to afford to keep myself alive? Or I will but my husband and I will be in even more debt than we are now. Will our children have to miss out more than they already do so mum can breathe? I've had to avoid picking up my prescriptions for a couple of days before because I haven't the spare money (lucky I never let myself run out of the essentials) and that's only 33 pound every 3 months. But then is that selfish? Should I be looking beyond this? I actually cried last night about this. I feel so very vulnerable. 

So yeah, I don't particularly love any of the manifestos right now. But I think I had to go for the one I thought would protect my family the most . And it was hard to do as I usually stay away from either of the top 2 parties but I was unsure if there was any point voting for any of the others.

I do actually feel a bit scared of this result. Same as I did during the eu vote (and I was a remainer so to me all my worst fears came true) 

I truly don't believe anyone can tell anyone which way to vote we all have different beliefs, passions and priorities and so we are all going to vote to protect them. We can't do anything but. I just hope the outcome really is best for the country. In a way we are all abit vulnerable with the world how it is right now. 

Still we are just so extremely lucky to be living in a country where we are allowed to have a say.