So
Its been a while since I blogged, there are a few reasons for this;
Uni is hard. but I'm kind of just about getting there.
Mother hood, Likewise. but more on that later.
Health, again pretty much the same.
I know right, thrilling stuff.
OK so in all seriousness; Chest wise. I'm OK at the mo, pumped full of steroids and just about coping we cant go on forever like it I have been told but its been pretty stable since I was injected with a hefty dose of steroid and given a steroid to have through my nebuliser.
I feel sick a lot am sick quite a bit more than I would like and get bloated and gross occasionally when I eat now which I was thrilled to have added to the symptoms list. The general consensus is, the amount of drugs is probably causing my stomach to not always want to work. Its not ideal esp fruit and veg (I'm a veggie) make it worse and I eat them a lot. but with anti sickness I can keep my weight stable, and some days its fine if I think about what I'm eating. so its just something to try and be sensible about.
Basically I am awaiting a new drug. When its available and I can start then I can try and start to wean down/off and this will hopefully calm this whole fandango down.
Uni wise I'm doing literature and creative writing modules. They are kind of tough. I seem to spend a lot of my life rereading and rereading books. I do genuinely feel like I am learning and I enjoy it. one of my modules marks reflect this, one does not. But its like life. You cant control it all and you just gotta roll with it. (bonus points to anyone who can name that band). Next year I am hoping to do advanced creative writing and Children's lit. If I can pass them and this year then I will have a degree. Seems impossible right now. But its closer to being true than this time last year. My whole life I dreamt of getting a degree. (I know right? Loser) I don't know if I will ever believe its possible till I am there.
So yeah Motherhood. Mine are 12 and 10. Any parents of babies and toddlers are probably pleading with me to say its easier at this age. Sorry guys. yeah they sleep through the night, they sometimes do the occasional thing for themselves. But they also now come armed with more sass that is not ever adorable, the ability to remember and know when you f**k up and they do not think you are the most amazing person ever.Also they can be annoying, don't go to bed at 7pm and they smell.
You are not powerless; They can be told to put the washing on if they did not put their clothes in the wash, they will be nice if they want a lift or money and the power of the wifi is like the time out/naughty step times about a million. Also you can do a while new range of stuff together that is not soft play (man I hate those places), watch a broader spec of films/TV and sometimes you feel less like you're parenting and more like you re just enjoying one anothers company. (the last one is very hit and miss). Anyone who tells you their preteen is their best friend I am convinced is over looking/naive to a lot of crap they do, or is lying. Or they may want to start selling the secret because I know I'd pay.
The pride and the unconditional love, its still there. Don't worry they have not killed it yet. Though check back in next year when I have a teenage girl. and I will let you know.
So this is where we are. I still miss working, sometimes so much it hurts. I still get some crazy anxiety over the most insane things, mess up being a Mum and if a dinosaur chases me I prob wont be very good at running away.
I will check back in soon. Hopefully I will have something more interesting to say.
:-)
Parenting
- Mepolizumab absolutely kicked my ass, I felt terrible when I was on it. I went backwards physically and mentally. It was stopped in December but uni has also been kicking my ass.
- This blog became a lot more about me being ill than I really intended. This is partly because my life largely revolves around it, partly because I kind of wanted to talk about it and partly because I think I got a bit carried away with it. I began to feel like one of those chronic illness bloggers that make their illness who they are. While its a massive part of my life, its not all I am. So I needed to step back and rethink where I intend to go with this.
- Lastly because my last blog got like 10 views and this is just for me, no one really cares but me and I didn't want to blog.
Uni is hard. but I'm kind of just about getting there.
Mother hood, Likewise. but more on that later.
Health, again pretty much the same.
I know right, thrilling stuff.
OK so in all seriousness; Chest wise. I'm OK at the mo, pumped full of steroids and just about coping we cant go on forever like it I have been told but its been pretty stable since I was injected with a hefty dose of steroid and given a steroid to have through my nebuliser.
I feel sick a lot am sick quite a bit more than I would like and get bloated and gross occasionally when I eat now which I was thrilled to have added to the symptoms list. The general consensus is, the amount of drugs is probably causing my stomach to not always want to work. Its not ideal esp fruit and veg (I'm a veggie) make it worse and I eat them a lot. but with anti sickness I can keep my weight stable, and some days its fine if I think about what I'm eating. so its just something to try and be sensible about.
Basically I am awaiting a new drug. When its available and I can start then I can try and start to wean down/off and this will hopefully calm this whole fandango down.
Uni wise I'm doing literature and creative writing modules. They are kind of tough. I seem to spend a lot of my life rereading and rereading books. I do genuinely feel like I am learning and I enjoy it. one of my modules marks reflect this, one does not. But its like life. You cant control it all and you just gotta roll with it. (bonus points to anyone who can name that band). Next year I am hoping to do advanced creative writing and Children's lit. If I can pass them and this year then I will have a degree. Seems impossible right now. But its closer to being true than this time last year. My whole life I dreamt of getting a degree. (I know right? Loser) I don't know if I will ever believe its possible till I am there.
So yeah Motherhood. Mine are 12 and 10. Any parents of babies and toddlers are probably pleading with me to say its easier at this age. Sorry guys. yeah they sleep through the night, they sometimes do the occasional thing for themselves. But they also now come armed with more sass that is not ever adorable, the ability to remember and know when you f**k up and they do not think you are the most amazing person ever.Also they can be annoying, don't go to bed at 7pm and they smell.
You are not powerless; They can be told to put the washing on if they did not put their clothes in the wash, they will be nice if they want a lift or money and the power of the wifi is like the time out/naughty step times about a million. Also you can do a while new range of stuff together that is not soft play (man I hate those places), watch a broader spec of films/TV and sometimes you feel less like you're parenting and more like you re just enjoying one anothers company. (the last one is very hit and miss). Anyone who tells you their preteen is their best friend I am convinced is over looking/naive to a lot of crap they do, or is lying. Or they may want to start selling the secret because I know I'd pay.
The pride and the unconditional love, its still there. Don't worry they have not killed it yet. Though check back in next year when I have a teenage girl. and I will let you know.
So this is where we are. I still miss working, sometimes so much it hurts. I still get some crazy anxiety over the most insane things, mess up being a Mum and if a dinosaur chases me I prob wont be very good at running away.
I will check back in soon. Hopefully I will have something more interesting to say.
:-)
Parenting
Comments
Post a Comment